Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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