So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
