I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
