so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
