gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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