I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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