so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
