She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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