C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
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He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
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Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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