Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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