ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
