is your mom at the bar?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
