areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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