i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
