If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
