I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
