If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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