you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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