TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
