The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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