you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
