Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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