Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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