I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
