You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
