you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
