I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
