When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
