8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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