I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
