speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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