I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
