Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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