he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
