i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
