She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
