i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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