He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
