I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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