And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Fuck appropriateness.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
