About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
