Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You don't make any sense
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