I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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