Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My nipple is on Facebook.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize