If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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