I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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