Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
