she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
