i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
