dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
