The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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