can we get nightvision for the apartment?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
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Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
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The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!