Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg http://tfl.nu/5dma
  Replies (3) Good night (1334) Bad night (1760)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that. http://tfl.nu/f05r
  Replies (7) Good night (1483) Bad night (5574)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking... http://tfl.nu/3yo6
  Replies (13) Good night (5025) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks. http://tfl.nu/lsv9
  Replies (12) Good night (6187) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis http://tfl.nu/fz5v
  Replies (6) Good night (6145) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night. http://tfl.nu/ytje
  Replies (7) Good night (4131) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal http://tfl.nu/8wqr
  Replies (2) Good night (2403) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost http://tfl.nu/7k22
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number. http://tfl.nu/o057
  Replies (6) Good night (851) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had http://tfl.nu/mht2
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases. http://tfl.nu/mmj1
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/1g6r
  Replies (4) Good night (1103) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this? http://tfl.nu/l650
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them http://tfl.nu/ozpx
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that http://tfl.nu/9sqv
  Replies (0) Good night (247) Bad night (183)

Randomize