WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.