also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you traded sex for a burrito?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw