Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  mmm whisky

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  reminds me of losing my job

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  (402): mmm whisky (402): reminds me of losing my job http://tfl.nu/6ugp
  Replies (3) Good night (1098) Bad night (2828)
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  (209): View more from California

  Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.

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  (209): Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future. http://tfl.nu/yuzg
  Replies (19) Good night (6612) Bad night (1041)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..

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  (631): My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms.. http://tfl.nu/s1m5
  Replies (15) Good night (4690) Bad night (820)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed

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  (336): If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed http://tfl.nu/a070
  Replies (20) Good night (8427) Bad night (1584)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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  (206): I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death http://tfl.nu/irfc
  Replies (14) Good night (3755) Bad night (1565)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.

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  (508): he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him. http://tfl.nu/d83n
  Replies (4) Good night (1938) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.

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  (831): The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/bj5u
  Replies (1) Good night (1929) Bad night (1280)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..

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  (203): I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground.. http://tfl.nu/w7v0
  Replies (2) Good night (1226) Bad night (657)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it

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  (+44): He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it http://tfl.nu/dp2q
  Replies (3) Good night (1702) Bad night (686)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score

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  (608): his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score http://tfl.nu/rd1e
  Replies (7) Good night (1499) Bad night (618)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive

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  (406): I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive http://tfl.nu/6hck
  Replies (3) Good night (1352) Bad night (485)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.

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  (306): I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck. http://tfl.nu/lhcb
  Replies (0) Good night (684) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....

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  (306): we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter.... http://tfl.nu/0sk3
  Replies (2) Good night (309) Bad night (591)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink

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  (218): my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink http://tfl.nu/6ob7
  Replies (4) Good night (390) Bad night (627)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES

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  (613): You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES http://tfl.nu/y1ws
  Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (158)

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