I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”