is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
