nut hugger
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
