in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
