Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize