her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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