his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
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Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays