we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.