She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
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Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
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I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day