so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY