eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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