the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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