Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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