just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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