help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
